For Stuart’s Mum

24 Mar

Apparently Stuart’s mum reads my blog all the time. This way she gets to keep up tabs on what her little boy is getting up to in Saint Martin all the way from Sunny England (well, sometimes sunny England). So, I thought that I would write a small blog about Stuart, so that she can catch up on some of the great things that he has been up to.

Well, where should I start? Stuart told me not to write anything that would worry you. So, I am not going to write about the deep dive that we did the other day near the Fusheng. I am not going to write about the fact that the main reason that I went on this dive was so that I could see Stuart at 140 feet and hopefully see him under the influence of Nitrogen Narcosis. I told Stuart that I wouldn’t write about the fact that at 143 feet I looked over at Stuart and made the Narcosis sign (this is done by putting up your first and second finger together and then making little circles) to ask him if he was narked, and he made the sign right back to me, but it was much more exaggerated and his eyes were wide with is eyebrows up, and I think I heard him mumble something under his regulator like “f-ing right”. But of course, Stuart’s mum knows that he doesn’t ever swear, (he is a clean living young man) so I must have misunderstood the mumbling. I will never in my life forget this special moment that Stuart and I shared in our state of nitrogen narcosis at 143 feet. So, in order to not worry Stuart’s mom, I agreed that I would keep this incident off of the blog. So, let’s just keep it between us then…

According to Wikipedia (of course the most official of sources) “Narcosis while diving (also known as nitrogen narcosis, inert gas narcosis, raptures of the deep, Martini effect) is a reversible alteration in consciousness that occurs while scuba diving at depth. It produces a state similar to alcohol intoxication or nitrous oxide inhalation. It can occur during shallow dives, but usually does not become noticeable until greater depths, beyond 30 meters (100 ft).”

We teach our students about this, but Stuart had never experienced it himself, so I thought that he should to better his teaching. It is, however, reversible, (as wiki points out) and even if Stuart’s mom should find out about the deep diving, she shouldn’t worry. Stuart is such an amazing, competent diver, that even in a state similar to the inhalation of nitrous oxide at over 40 meters under the surface of the ocean, he can still maintain his usual safe diving practices.

We were actually diving near the Fusheng in order to find another mythical wreck that is down there just a bit deeper, but we were unsuccessful.  Well, that was the legitimate reason for diving, I just wanted to see Stuart Narked!

Other items that Stuart probably wouldn’t want me to tell his mum about is that he hurt his foot the other day doing some sort of superhuman-deep-water-forward-flip-entry into the water.  He is fine now though, the swelling went down and the doctor said in a few days the likely hood that we need to amputate his leg will go down from 90% to 75%.  So not to worry.

What I am allowed to tell Stuart’s mum is about what a great instructor he is.  We get so much positive feedback from his divers and students that it would make Stuart’s mum beam with pride.  Recently Stuart looked up his records and he has certified over 200 students, and some of them (believe me) were a challenge.  So this is no small feat! I can tell Stuart’s mum that Jenn recently brought back some nice curtains from NY to help decorate his apartment, and he also received a sofa from his devoted employers (that would be Chris and me) which has a lovely throw over it.  Although, I must tell Stuart’s mum that he has an 8 x 10 inch picture frame on the wall with nothing in it!! So if you need an idea of something to send over, a photograph to fill the sad picture frame would be a great idea. He also recently bought a pan to cook, although I think the only action it has seen was the other day when he boiled some water for some tea.  The intention to cook is there, however, so Stuart’s mum should be pleased with this as well.

Hmmm, what else would Stuart’s mum like to know. Since Stuart has been with us he has blossomed as a boat captain and has completed a firefighting course, a sea survival course, a marine radio course, a power boat course, and also is picking up a bit of french a long the way.  We were going to start having french lessons once a week, but this hasn’t happened yet.  I blame Calmos, the pub down the road!  He is an excellent boat captain though, driving Octopussy with pride.  I could probably come up with some inappropriate comments about the name of the boat and Stuart as captain, but for the sake of Stuart’s mom, I won’t.

I won’t write about Stuart’s love life, as he is a tall guy (I was going to write big, but since he has been throwing those tanks on and off the boat he isn’t really that big any more) and he may throttle me if I do!  Boss or no boss, some topics really are off limits.  Although I will say that as his mom already knows, he is a real catch!

I will now search through all my photos for the one that Stuart’s mum will appreciate the most… I’m thinking the one below, where Stuart is about to teach a Rescue Diver course and he is all serious!!!stu for rescue course

I hope that Stuart’s mum enjoyed hearing all about Stuart in Saint Martin, and I also hope that Stuart doesn’t batter me for writing this.

(Sally wrote this blog 🙂 )

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